Whod you bang
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
