my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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