so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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