How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
