I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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