There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize