we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
