i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my shit smells like andre
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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