My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
