I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
whose parrot is this?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
