Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just had sex on a roof
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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