He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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