She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
