garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think my moral compass just broke
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