Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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