9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they're like a gay fantastic four
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
