I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize