so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
then he tried to convert me to islam
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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