after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
