I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
