I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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