your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
