Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
