There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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