so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Randomize
