thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
