I think I died a long time ago.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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