"it" just moved
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
