Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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