Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
