Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
