Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
