2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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