Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's blow job season.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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