I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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