Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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