that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
