you would pick up someone in the library
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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