ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
