i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
