Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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