Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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