dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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