Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
