one two three fourrrrnication!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize