It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
