Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
