Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
