i wish starbucks made bloody marys
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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