Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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