I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
