Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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