thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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