So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
