I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.