weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.