Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
