Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?