Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
