Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
