dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
