if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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