Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
