He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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