i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize