Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
