so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
