Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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